I’ve always cherished the memories of my children’s births and their childhoods. If I were to go back in time, I would do the same things again, but in a more self-aware, patient and creative way. I would hold my kids a little longer and grab the chance to enjoy more fun times with them. I would take more videos and capture more funny faces.
We idealize because we are lacking something within ourselves. Whether that be certain characteristics in them that we are envious of or loneliness that kills us from the inside out, limerence is a reflection of what’s missing on the inside. Once you realize that, you can fill those voids instead of putting another person on a pedestal.
Before you were born. I saw you in my dream and I sang a song for you. The song went something like this, “Baby, baby, eyes so blue, don’t you worry I love you.”. When you were born, your beautiful blue eyes amazed me and I knew you were the boy in my dream.
The beauty you brought into my life was stunning. I felt like a light was planted in my heart. And no matter what went wrong, that light burned bright.
The pain of heartbreak is the type of pain one never forgets. For those who have suffered, it truly feels like an open wound. Vulerable, in pain, longing for recovery. It’s a feeling that runs through the veins, cuts like a knife, and damages the innocence you once possessed.
This is a story of a girl who cares too much. A girl who has a larger than life heart. A girl who longs to help, to console, to love others. A girl who is vulnerable, emotional, empathetic, and strong. A girl who falls too hard and loves too much, and has occasionally loved the wrong people. This girl puts her needs aside for everyone else, and continues to let people in – though she has been broken and bruised many times before.
She gives and gives, never asking for anything in return. She keeps her childlike faith and trust tucked safely inside of her heart, knowing that someday, in a world full of half-hearted love and fear of emotions, she’ll finally find her place.
Continue reading “Confessions of a Girl Who Cares ‘Too Much’”
