If you’re feeling dissatisfied in your relationship, it may be time to stop and ask yourself why. Having someone to share your time, thoughts, and affections with is wonderful, but you need to be in a fulfilling relationship.
And sometimes we don’t realize that our needs are not actually being met.
If you’re questioning your relationship, here are some of the non-negotiable needs you need to pay attention to. If these aren’t being met, perhaps it’s time to head a different direction.
The most important element (in any relationship) is communication. It’s not any kind of communication that will do, either. Work has to be done to stay honest, loyal, available to speak about what matters, and perhaps most importantly, to listen to what the other person has to say.
Communication might sound like a soft skill that you either have or don’t, or perhaps something that comes unconsciously. However, if you’ve been struggling and wondering how to learn communication, it all starts with the willingness to open up, share your emotions, and connect on a deeper level.
Intimacy and physical romance can be tricky subjects because there are many things that can impact the desire and comfort levels of both people. And you can’t have healthy intimacy without the enthusiastic consent of both parties! However, navigating any mismatch in this area can be much better helped by a sex & relationship therapist. Through this type of therapy, you can learn to better address the problems that might be making you an intimate mismatch.
You need to know that your partner has your back, that they’re going to be on your side, and that they’re going to help you. This doesn’t mean blindly enabling each other when we are wrong, but instead, always making it clear that our actions and words are in the best interest of another.
It’s a good idea to stop being overly critical of your partner, and an even better idea to routinely check-in and make yourself available (when you’re needed and even when you haven’t been asked).
Your relationship, aside from being stable with genuine love and serious commitment, should also be something that helps you recharge from the troubles of daily life. Having fun is important! Taking the opportunity to go on dates, to enjoy hobbies together, or simply to spend time away from life’s responsibilities is important (and keeps the romance alive!).
You need to ponder this: where will you and your relationship be in the future?
Talking to your partner about the future and the potential plans you have (when the time is right for that talk) can help you see just how good of a match you really are. Some aspects of life (such as where to live) can be compromised on, but when it comes to having children, work-life balance, career, and other lifelong commitments, you’ll need to find some points of agreement.