What I Learned About Forgiveness

happy person smiling on phone about forgiveness

Yes, it is easy to be an advice-giver when it comes to forgiving someone, but once you are in the situation itself, it is absolutely one of the hardest things you will ever do. You may even counter my advice and that is completely understandable. But one day, you will come to understand that there is beauty in forgiveness, even when it’s hard.

Just like everybody else, there are people who have wronged me and are not even sorry. They left without a word. They broke their promises. They turned their backs on me. They feasted on my mistakes. Is saying “I’m sorry” difficult to utter? Would it hurt their ego? Would they feel humiliated? Would it make them less of a person? I’ve often wondered this, but I guess you cannot force people to offer an apology or show remorse.

After all the aches brought about by someone’s misdeeds and situations that severely harmed me, I came to a point where I wanted to get even, to get revenge. I know the same goes with other people who hold onto the pain and resentment because they loved and trusted and ended up getting hurt.

But then I asked myself, does this define my happiness?

Would dwelling on the past solve problems? Would I become a better person? The answer is no.

I have gotten over the past by replacing the harrowing scenarios in my head with positive thoughts and outlook in life because believe it or not, these people have shown kindness to me and I thank them for that. They have done something for me. That is why I am here where I stand. More importantly, I still believe that there is still even a flicker of goodness inside them.

It is never easy to pardon people who wrong you, especially if they are closest to your heart.

But please do not forget that you still have a life to live.

Letting go of those painful memories is hard, especially when the wounds are still fresh. But you are missing the countless possibilities and amazing opportunities for you if you hold onto a grudge.

There is much hesitation when it comes to giving forgiveness. Sometimes we think that by doing so, we are condoning the offenders’ acts and letting them get away with it. But this is a misconception because when the time comes that you learn to forgive and let go fully, you are releasing yourself from anger, bitterness or whatever is trying to weigh you down or hold you back from being happy again.

The truth is, forgiveness is not only just about them, it’s about me, you, us.

No matter how good we are, there are times when we are antagonists in someone’s story. We’re not always the victims. We’re not always the heroes.

I do not have the power to change the past, but I have the ability to learn from it and improve myself today and so do you.

I will never get tired of moving forward because from that, I have seen that there is so much more to life than holding grudges and constantly criticizing myself for my faults and failures.

My life is not perfect but with the love and support from my family, true friends, and all the good things that are happening to me now, I think I have forgiven them without me even noticing. In time, I hope you also find the strength to forgive and move forward because you deserve more.
 

Featured Image Credit: TONL

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