You Look Fine

woman looking into mirror, you look fine

“You look fine”

Your mouth speaks it as a compliment, but your subtext reads differently.

“Stop looking at yourself in the mirror,” is what you meant to say.

“Don’t be so vain,” is what you hope I hear through your offhand remark.

As I take my time with my own reflection, I wonder how I have offended you so deeply.

I am not subjected to a certain time limit here.

I am taking up no more space than you.

And yet, somehow, in someway, I have disappointed.

Through a glass surface, before reality comes again, I crave a moment of me-time.

I long for more seconds of the interactions with just myself.

I need it.

I would give you that space.

To breathe.

To take a moment of silence and see yourself clearly.

I would give you the time you need to just simply be.

But for me, I am vain. I am self-absorbed.

“You look fine,” You ring out again, notes of increased impatience with my existence.

I am polite, kind-hearted, and offer you the response you knew would come.

An awkward laugh of embarrassment, as if I’ve done something I should be ashamed of.

As if I am deserving of your insult.

And just like that, my minute of peace has been stolen from me.

And you are appeased.

In triumph that you have stopped another self-absorbed being from relishing in her own features.

You leave and I smile.

I do look fine.

But not in the way you think.

Not in the way you choose to paint me.

I look fine for reasons you will never try to stop to understand.

And it’s okay.

I forgive you.

I have stood in shoes similar to yours before.

I know how they feel.

But now, we do not wear the same size.

No matter how hard I would try, your shoes wouldn’t fit the feet I now carry.

And for that I smile, and tell myself, in the mirror that has caused you so much anguish, “You look fine.”
 

Featured Image Credit: Brad Lloyd

[Home » Blog » You Look Fine]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *